Birth of a Blog

Sit down children and listen to the tale that I have to tell. The tale of how this blog came to life…

(Only two days in and I’m already scraping the bottom of the idea barrel. ‘What to blog about?? Hmmmmm…How about my blog! Now that is a great leap forward in ideas!)

Okaaaaaay…I wish I could include cool things like rockets and dinosaurs or dinosaurs on fire shooting rockets, but this tale is of much more humble beginnings.

I was really, really, REALLY bored.

Not just your run-of-the-mill, ‘what to do? What to do?’ level of bored. I was taking mind-numbing boredom to new face-melting extremes. Not deliberately mind you, but unfortunately my boredom had become a deadly, downward cycle with a life of its own. I was becoming such a pro at being bored, household chores of dire necessity, personal hygiene, things that I COULD be done, things that could SAVE me, were being left aside to rot. Why? I honestly feared that my boredom would rebel against me if I tried to destroy it…I feared that it had grown so strong it would surely melt my brain for so much as having an idea.

But something had to be done. So my first attempt to regain my humanity came by the way of arts and craft, in particular cross-stitch. Now, I don’t care what anyone else says, but cross-stitch is an art to rot the brain away. Which just so happened to be the perfect first step to fool my boredom that I was still an inactive chunk of flesh. It was working; my mind was being released from boredom’s grip.

So, I thought to myself, ‘what other activity is there to fill the emptiness that currently occupies my life, but would not require me to leave my room?’. A plethora of ideas from juggling knives, pen-trix, backflips, holding my breath, even archery (I kid you not) were suggested to me, but these were all overshadowed by a sudden, revolutionary brainwave.

BLOGGING!!!

Yes, I would conquer the world with my mighty interstellar grip. For that is the birth-right of all bloggers and it is a right my broad and ever so capable shoulders must burden. Yes, soon the world will know of me and follow my teachings as religious truths.

Unfortunately, it would seem I’m not really the ‘idea’ kind of person. And the road of a blogger is going to be much harder than first figured and conquering will require a significant reduction in bravado. But if I don’t do it, it’s not like there is anyone else out there to do it………right?

I couldn’t help myself:

What happens when you put a baby in a microwave for 10 minutes??

I don’t know…I was too busy masturbating

I couldn’t bring myself to draw that though…